Through The Gates Into Paradise
by J. Maria
Summary: Post 'THe Gift' Sure Buffy died, but what really happened after the swan dive?
1. Prologue

A/N: Season 5 & 6 Spoilers sorta. I really don't know if anyone's written anything like this before. So here's my first non-crossover.

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Through The Gates Into Paradise

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Prologue

The light was so bright. She could barely see three feet in front of her. Her dress was white. It was fitting that it be white. She walked slowly. Suddenly she was blinded by color. It had never been this . . . vibrant before. Green hills surrounded her. It was too much to take in.

"I'd say ye'd get used ta t'at, but ye won't."

She spun around to face the voice. Before her stood a girl. Not any different than herself. Her hair was had more reds and browns in it. Her eyes were green. Her dress was white, but it was of an older style. Her hair hung loosely around her face. It lay in soft curls framing her small face. A dusting of freckles splayed on her cheeks. She smiled.

"Ain't ye time, luv. But it is ye time o' learnin'. Welcome to the Valhalla, the resting-place of the warriors."

"But . . . I'm just a girl - "

"Now, luv, ye know tha' is not so."

"Who are you?"

"Who _was _I? My name was Lily O'Halloren. But most knew me as th' slayer. The one girl chosen to fight against th' dark. Just as you were, Buffy Summers. Just as you, I died in the line of duty. And another was chosen."

"Dawnie . . . "

"Your Gift. The gift of Death. Ye thought that by dying, ye were fulfilling ye gift?"

"Yes."

"That was only part of it."

Buffy blinked. It had seemed so clear, on the tower when she made the choice to end her days for her sister's life. She looked at Lily. Lily smiled softly at Buffy. The girl would not understand.

"Death is ye gift, thar is no denying tha'. But this is ye chance to learn what the final act was for each o' us."

"Huh?" 

"Earlier, I said tha' ye were not meant long for this place. Ye job isn't finished, lass. Ye're still needed. None o' us hav' been needed tha' way. Ye are here ta learn."

"Learn what?"

"Learn our mistakes."

"How do I do that?"

"Ye get ta see every slayer's death."


	2. Chapter One: Visions of Loneliness

Title: Through The Gates Into Paradise

Author: Jmaria

Rating: hard pg-13 for lang, possibly r.

Disclaimer: I own tons of junk, but not Buffy. Joss owns her, Kendra, Nikki, The First Slayer, And the Chinese Slayer Spike killed (I don't know her name). I'm just shamelessly using them. 

Summary/ A/N: So Buffy's in Heaven. But she's not done. Oh, and there are going to be very slight spoilers for seasons six and seven, so if you haven't seen them you might not want to read anymore. I'm trying to keep them really slight. And now for the note section of this. I was really shocked by how much everyone loves this idea. I thought I'd just be called a major goober for coming up with this lame-ass idea. You can see how critical I am of myself. So I held off writing the next chapter. Then I turned on my computer the next day and all of my reviews were for this one. Oh, and one of my distrubetees (is that a real word?) is looking for buffy writers. So go to this link, sign up for the forum, and see about getting a thingy for your stories. (I suck at computer/internet terms) 

Distribution: TtH, FF.Net, Charmed Fanfiction & More, and if ya want it, just ask.

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Chapter One: Visions Of Loneliness 

Buffy Summers had died saving the world, and now Lily was telling her that she wasn't done, that she had more work to do. The red-haired girl smiled sadly at the newly fallen slayer. It was never easy, coming through. But this slayer was different. She'd died twice.

"So I have to learn how to _die_? Hello, died twice. I think I passed the final." 

"No, ye di'n't. Ye di'n't fail, tho'. Ye will be brough' back. Ye're still needed. De powers tha' be, the' forsee ye comin' back inta de fold." Lily seemed to think for a moment. "Face it, dearie. Yer screwed."

Buffy whirled to face the Irish girl. She simply smiled at Buffy, her hands on her hips haughtily. Lily turned, her hand going to the doorway before her. Buffy blinked. Huh? Where had that come from?

"Ye coming, Summers? Or do I gotta drag yer ass in here?"

Lily entered, confidant that the Slayer would follow her. Buffy hesitated as she watched Lily disappeared into the doorway. 

"C'mon, Summers. You've died twice. Why are you so scared of a damn door?" Buffy muttered to herself.

She felt fuzzy as she made her way into the cavern. Lily stood before her, and simply pointed down. There stood the most frightening thing she had ever had to face. Her First death.

__

"You're not going to kill me with that thing." The Master said.

"Don't be so sure." The sixteen year old Buffy Summers said. Her hair was up, and she was all dressed up for the prom.

"You still don't understand your part in all this, do you? You are not the hunter. You are the lamb. " 

Buffy turned to Lily.

"Why are we here?" Fear and pain clouded in her eyes. 

"I tol' ye tha' we were goin' to see every slayers' death. I though' we'd start out with somethin' simple."

"Simple? Seeing my _death_ is not Simple!"

"Hush, now, dearie. Ye're suppsosed to be watchin'." Lily turned her face back to the Master.

__

The younger Buffy looked for the Master, slowly circling.

"You know, for someone who's all powerful, you sure do like to hide." She said. 

"I'm waiting for you. I want this moment to last." His voice seemed to be coming at her from everywhere.

"Well, I don't." Her eyes searched for her enemy. But she never saw him behind her.

"I understand."

She turned to face him, but her crossbow was knocked from her hands. Fear came into her eyes as he grabbed for her throat.

"Stop it. I don't want to see this."

"It's nevah easy, dearie. Watchin' yerself die. But ye must. Ye let de fear take ove'. Tha' was yer mistake."

__

Buffy swung her arm up, breaking his grasp. She looked for an escape. But as she began to run, the Master used his powers to pull her to him. He made his way to her. He positioned himself behind her, removing the jacket she wore. She panted with fear, her eyes searching for help, anything she could use to save herself from this nightmare. She couldn't die. 

"You tried. It was noble of you. You heard the prophecy that I was about to break free and you came to stop me. But prophecies are tricky creatures. They don't tell you everything." She could feel his rancid breath on her ear. "You're the one that sets me free!" She felt her fear as he whispered to her, " If you hadn't come, I couldn't go. Think about that!"

He waited one heartbeat's length before lowering his fangs into the base of her throat. He took but two sips of her life's blood before releasing her.

"Oh, God! The power! "

She fell to her knees. She couldn't remove herself from his thrall.

"And by the way... " He said to her as he made his way from his former prison. 

But she couldn't hear him. The ground was rushing at her so slowly. A pool of brown water hit her as he continued. 

"I like your dress." 

"I was so scared of him." A voice whispered.

Buffy turned to face her younger self. The girl stood where Lily had been. Her face was wet, and her throat was bleeding. She smiled at Buffy.

"I lost something. My edge. My confidence. I heard that I was going to die. But I didn't listen to Giles. I should have listened. I guess I don't do that to much. I - I."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. It gets people killed. I was so sure of myself, that I let it cloud everything. I didn't think, I didn't plan, and it got me killed."

Buffy looked at her younger self. 

"I - I just reacted. And gave into my fear. Can you say stupid much?" A sad smile crossed her lips. "That's how I got myself killed."

Buffy blinked back the tears in her eyes. When she did, she was back out on the vibrantly green hill, Lily at her side.

"Well, now tha' we've done tha'. I suppose we shoul' talk?"

"Talk?"

"Aye, dearie. We need ta talk."

A/N 2: Ok, Buffy's death and all that comes from 'Prophecy Girl', and I got the lines from . So? 


	3. Chapter Two: Endless Conversations

A/N: Just to say, I own nothing 'cept for the people I make up. Story time.

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Chapter Three: Endless Conversations

Lily began walking. She couldn't be sitting when she told Buffy this. It was a test, in it's own way. She had to make sure Buffy was ready for it. The slayer had to jog to catch up to her.

"So stop running away and start talking."

Lily shook her head. There was no way she could think of to say this delicately.

"Are all the slayers here? And if they are, why is my sixteen year old self here?"

"'Cause when ye died, dearie, ye lost a bit of yerself."

"Huh? 'Splainy, please."

Lily whirled around to face Buffy. Confusion played over her features. Lily sighed heavily.

"When ye died, ye were brough' back. Ye came here. Ah was her' ta meet ye. Ye left. Well, most of ye left."

"What do you mean, 'most of me left'?"

"De innocence of ye stayed put. Part of ye soul was jus' too tired ta go on. So, she stayed."

Buffy just stopped. Her eyes seemed to glaze over. Had she always wanted to give up? Had she always just wanted to stop? No, she had fought. But that nagging voice in the back of her mind kept saying, _only because you had to_. She swallowed hard as her steps faltered, but she felt herself resuming her walking. She caught up to Lily.

Lily was shocked to see the girl resume her frantic pace to keep up with Lily. When she'd told other slayers that they were dead, most of them hadn't been able to move for hours. But Buffy Summers _walked on_. This girl was truly a marvel.

"So, do I get to see my last death? Or is it my _latest_ death? 'Cuz you told me I hafta go back."

"Nay. Tha' ye get to view right before ye leave this place."

"Why?"

"Ah'll explain in good time."

Buffy seemed puzzled again. She kept walking. Lily was thrown for a loop by her next question.

"So, I get to see your death next then? I mean, it's only fair. You just got to see me die."

"Nay. Ye'll see my death a wee bit later." 

Lily stopped before one of the other doors that had popped up in front of them. Before she put her hand to the handle, she turned to Buffy.

"Ye can ask me."

"Ask you what?"

"If they'll all come ta ye, after ye've seen their deaths."

Buffy paused, the question still evident on her lips. "Do they?"

"Aye, they do. It's bettar, if they tell ye themselves. Ah only know so much."

"Oh."

"We all see this. Ye ain't ta firs' slayer ta die."

"I know."

Without further ado, Lily twisted the handle and led the way.

A/N: Okay, next chapter we met a new dead slayer. That just sounds confusing.


	4. Chapter Three: Through The Eyes Of A Chi...

A/N: much thanks to all of you who reviewed the story. By now, you should all know I own squat, 'cept the people I make up. Anywho. BIG FAT WARNING: Some bad stuff happens, and it's not nice or fluffy or pretty. It's sad and scary. So, just remember: THIS FOCUSES ON DEATH!!!! Ok, I said we'd meet someone new. And I've been pondering this idea through the world's most _boring _Bio class ever invented. So, anyway, on to what you're really here for. The story.

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Chapter Three: Through The Eyes Of A Child

Buffy blinked to adjust her eyes to the darkness. A young girl, no more than thirteen, sat on the stoop of an old looking apartment building. Her hair was black, and her eyes focused on her knitting. The sun had been set for awhile. She was humming an unfamiliar song. 

Buffy turned and looked at Lily. Lily was watching Buffy's reaction. She merely nodded her head to the scene that lay before them. They all reacted to the sound down the alleyway. The girl's head stayed down though. Another girl approached her. Buffy was confused. Which one was the slayer?

"Jus' watch, Buffy."

The sitting girl spoke in French, but Buffy understood her.

"It is not safe for a young girl to be traveling this road at this time of night."

The other girl came into the light, confusion marring her beautiful face. She watched the girl on the stoop. And still her head was bent over her work.

"Sorry, luv, Bu' I don't speak French." The girl on the stoop finally looked up, her face a blank mask. 

Just as the other girl came to stop in front of the sitting girl. She grinned broadly at the girl.

__

"Bu' I do eat it." She said as she vamped out.

"Her name is Joelle Lafayette. Sh' was chosen a' twelve."

_Joelle broke the gaze with the vampiress, her knitting falling into the cobbled road. She backhanded the vampire, her hand clutching on the wooden stake in her lap. Joelle's fist pounded into the vampire's nose, cracking something as her stake went into the heart._

The vampire exploded into a pile of dust. Joelle stooped to retrieve her knitting. Anger clouded her young eyes. She muttered something under her breath.

"Damn, Grandmere will never want this filthy rag now!"

"Sh' was born in France, but her granny wa' a English lady. "

"But the vampire didn't kill her."

"Sh' couldna speak English. Sh'd only been in London for a week."

  
_Five drunk men entered the alleyway. Joelle paid them no attention. They spoke to her, but she didn't understand them. As she tried to pass them, they grabbed her. She fought sending one of the men back into a wall. _

"Break he' damn legs! Break he' damn arms! It don't affect wha' we're after." One of them screamed.

They found a loose cobble on the road. Three of them pushed her against the wall. The other took the cobble and shattered her knee cap. Her scream pierced the night sky, and someone pulled their shutter tight at the sound. Her left knee cap soon followed, and then both of her forearms and her hands. Tears streamed down her face, French prayers muttered under her breath.

__

One of them raised her skirts and took her innocence. When they had all had their fill, the one who had called for the cobble pulled a knife from his waist. She begged for mercy as he held the knife to her throat.

"Sorry, luv, I don't speak French." He tore the knife over her throat.

Buffy turned away to face Joelle. She smiled sadly at Buffy.

"Grandmere had sent for me after Papa died. My mere was sick, and it was the only way to save me from the streets, as a whore."

"You were illegitimate?"

"Oui. She saved me."

"What -" 

"Mon mistake?"

Buffy nodded softly. The girl's sad brown eyes brimmed with tears as she looked back at her body. Buffy's heart broke. Joelle was even younger than Dawnie had been. Joelle needed a moment to compose herself.

"Mon mistake was being alone. I never told mon watcher zhat I was going to Enghland. I didn't want to believe him."

"Then -"

"I refused to believe in zee evils in zee world. I nevar zhought zat vampyres were 'ere as well. I was too young. Because I didn't believe in real demons, I failed to see de evahl in man. I - I froze. I waz in disbelief. It was ordinary men zhat killed me. I tried to run away from mon destiny. Denial iz what killed moi."

Buffy reached for her hand, only to find herself back on the hill with Lily.

"Ye ready for th' next door?"

"If it's anything like the last one, then hell no!"

A/N 2: The title was taken from the Air Supply song of the same story. I'm gonna cry if nobody knows who they are! lol! Ok, so whatcha think?


	5. Chapter Four: Don't Just Walk Away

A/N: Big Thanks to all of you who've reviewed! Ok in the beginning, Lily told Buffy she was going see _every _slayers death, and the knowledge would help her when she was sent back. Obviously, there are hundreds, if not thousands of slayers that have come before Buffy, and to write about every single one would take me years of work. I'm not planning on doing every single slayer, I'm picking random ones and telling their stories. I might be ambitious, but I am realistic. There are too many slayers to possible do them all. I'm not sure how many there will be when I end this, but as many as I can make. And the obligatory 'I own nothing unless you've never seen it before'. Oh, and the young slayer was named after my big sister, who was so happy to see her name in print for a change. 

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Chapter Four: Don't Just Walk Away

Images of what had happened to Joelle haunted Buffy's mind. She had been so young. Lily merely kept walking, making her way to another door. For Lily, Joelle's was always the hardest death to see. She smiled sadly as her hand braced on the door before her. Buffy only nodded. She was beyond words, and she stumbled through the doorway.

__

A young couple was laughing as they strolled down the sidewalk. His arm was draped over her shoulder. She was smiling. She looked so happy.

"He' name is Cynthia Pierce. Sh's eighteen. Jus' turned."

"Eighteen or turned into the slayer?"

__

"So, I never really said happy birthday, did I Cyn?"

"No, ya didn't." She pecked him on the lips.

"Cyn . . . don't start stuff you can't finish." He murmured against her lips. His hands went to her hips, dragging her body as close to his as he possibly could. In the moonlight, her sandy blonde hair shone against his dark hair. 

There was the sound of a trash can falling behind them. Cyn pulled back from him, her hand going to her waist. She looked back up at the man.

"Luke, go."

"Cyn -"

"I have to do something -"

"I'm not going to leave you to face vampires by yourself."

"I'm the slayer -"

"That doesn't mean your indestructible!"

"I know. That's why you have to go get Andrews. He'll have more weapons. I need you to help me."

Luke seemed unsure about what to do. Cyn smiled at him, her body language telling him to go. He seemed unsure. His hand skated over her face.

"I love you Cynthia Anne Pierce. Don't do anything stupid." He said, kissing her before running down the street.

"Robert Andrews was he' 'atcher. 'E lived no' much more tha' three blocks from 'ere."

__

Seven vampires burst out from the darkness. The first received a swift kick to the head. She fought harder then she'd ever fought before. The blows came naturally. She threw one off of her as she ran down the street. She searched for help, her eyes darting to the doorways around her. Her bangle earrings dangled from her ears, sending almost an eerie jangling sound down the street. Cyn didn't want to run, leaving the vamps to run amok. But she knew she was outmatched.

"Ooof." She cried, her face racing toward the sidewalk. Her hands stopped her fall. She felt fangs dig into her shoulder, another pair into leg, and yet another pair into her back. She felt a knife slit into her flesh below her ribs. A scream ripped through her throat. Her hand went to the knife, snapping the wrist that held it. A quick upward jab sent the vamp exploding into dust. That still left six.

"She should be able to throw them off."

"Wha' is an' wha' should be ain't de same things, dearie."

_Cyn struggled to her feet, kicking off her three leeches. Her Converse tennie connected with the face of the vamp on her leg, a spray of blood arching from it's mouth. She jabbed the knife into its heart, a grin on her face as it exploded. The five other vamps tried to tackle her down. One wrapped it's hands around her throat, it's nails cutting into her flesh. She brought the knife up quickly into it's chest. Four. She managed to shuck them off her, as she backed herself up, rising shakily to her feet. She noticed her breathing was shallow._

One of them noticed this as it charged her. It forgot, however, that she still held the knife. The vamp ran into it. The other two charged after him. Cyn closed her eyes. She couldn't fight them, she'd lost too much blood. Then they stopped suddenly. Bolts stuck from their chests, and as they burst into dust, Cyn saw Luke and Andrews behind them. The knife dropped from her hand.

"They can get her to a hospital. They can -"

"Buffy. I -"

Buffy turned to see Cyn standing next to her in Lily's place. She shook her head and nodded to the scene.

__

"Cyn! I knew I shouldn't have left you alone!"

"Luke, you got here in time."

"Yeah, we gotta get you to a hospital. Andrews, get the car."

"Yes." The watcher looked sadly at his young charge. But he did as Luke asked, run as fast as he could, tears streaming down his cheeks. Cyn stayed, her body leaning against the wall. She sagged down into a sitting position. Luke squeezed her hand. He didn't want to lose her.

"Luke. . . I -" a cough wracked her body, blood dripping from her lips.

"Shh. Conserve your energy. Andrews will be here soon." He leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Luke." She whispered when he was close enough to hear her.

Luke smiled softly at her, his hand brushing back a strand of blood-stained hair. Suddenly his face contorted into one of pain. Her eyes darted to his chest. A deep red stain was forming there as he fell back. A man stood over his shoulder, his face vampiric. 

"Luke -" She whimpered. Her hand clutched onto the knife beside her, and as the vamp bent to feed, she hurled it at him. She dragged herself to him, she cried.

"Luke. You - you gotta live. Damnit Luke! ANDREWS!!!"

__

Andrews' car screeched to a halt as he raced to their side. He shifted his gaze from the boy to the slayer. With some difficulty, he could probably get both of them to the hospital.

"Take him, Andrews." Blood began bubbling out of her mouth. "He's still got a shot."

"I won't leave you here to die, Cyn." Luke muttered.

"No, you have to go. I'm the slayer, I - I can hold out longer than you."

"Don't leave her, Andrews."

"Just get him help, now!"

Andrews helped the younger man up, and as he carried him to the car, Cyn watched with tears in her eyes. When he went to make his way back, Cyn was already dead.

"I died so he could live. I made a choice, and Luke won. I gave it my all, because I loved him. I never regretted my sacrifice."

Buffy followed Cyn's gaze on Luke. Tears streamed from her eyes. She swallowed as she turned back to Buffy.

"He had a family. He's still living because I died for him."

Lily was beside her in the next instant. She took Buffy's hand and led her to the next door.

"Ye ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."


	6. Chapter Five: I Tried To Kill The Pain

A/N: Ok, I updated the story on the 11th, and have been in crunch mode on some other stories I've been neglecting. Big thanks to xanya-forever, who's reviewed more for this story than anyone else. Your thoughts are always welcomed. If I sounded bitchy on the last A/N, I didn't mean to be . . . entirely. Stress is to blame. But, I digress (my big word issue) Ok, I remembered I forgot to put the dates for the first two slayers I wrote about. Joelle was a slayer in 1735, and Cyn was a slayer in 1983 (they also died in those years). So, ok. Yeah so we move on to a new dead slayer. That still sounds incredibly weird. 

**__**

Chapter Five: I Tried To Kill The Pain

Buffy saw the lantern light play on the cobbles. Lily walked into the street. She beckoned for Buffy to follow her. Lilly led the way to a dock, where a boat was slowly making it's way into the harbor.

"We be in Ay-talih"

"Where?"

"Italy."

"Oh."

"It's 1348. Tha' boat be carrying th' cause o' de Black Plague."

"Eew. Rats?"

"Nay, it's a demon."

__

A slight figure made it's way to the boat. A mighty scream of pain echoed in the empty night streets. The figure threw back her hood. A girl with chocolate brown hair watched from the shadows, her hands clutched tightly around the sword in her hand. She was waiting for It to emerge.

"Tha' there is Annunziata Mezzini. Sh' sixteen. . 'Er family is an offshoot of the De Medici family."

"Wow. So she's like a -"

"Noble? Aye. There wa' a prophecy 'bout Annunziata. Tha's why her name _is_ Annunziata."

__

Annunziata made her way to the ship as a hulking figure emerged from the lower decks. Annuziata knew that only one person was alive on the ship. He wouldn't last long. Before her stood the huge beast. It's bone horns came from every angle of it's body. A thick green pus oozed from the scabby pores that covered it's body.

"Ew, worse than rats. It's a chaos demon. In all it's glory."

__

The demon charged at her, but Annunziata dodged the blows. Her sword found purchase in the demon's arm. It howled in pain. It raked at her flesh, blood spurting from the wound. Annunziata screamed in pain as the demon's pus slipped into the gaping wounds. Thick boils began to form on her skin. She tightened her grip on the sword and swung with all her might.

The demon's head hit the water, floating out to sea, as it's body hit the pavement. Annunziata hit the ground. She couldn't move. It hurt too much. The was a movement on the ship. Her eyes watched as he crept from it. He came to her side. 

"Thank you, signora."

Annunziata couldn't speak. She couldn't form words. He left her side, believing she was dead. He touched the beast. She tried to shout, tried to warn him. He began to walk away. She sighed. He was not affected as she was. He would live. And from the corner of her eye she saw the rat. A flea jumped onto it's body from the demon. A single tear rolled down her cheek, as the rat ran off into the night.

Buffy wasn't shocked to see Annunziata beside her. It was kinda old hat now. Annunziata wouldn't turn to face her though.

"My name meant _The bearer of news._ I was to be the bearer of bad news. Because I did not have the strength to finish the job, thousands of people died of the Black Death. My lack of what was needed Do you know how many potential slayers were killed before they could even be called? Ten. Because of me. I am the bearer. Death truly was my gift."

Buffy couldn't say anything to this. She kept her head down. She knew how it was to have that guilt on her shoulders.

"I was buried with the common riff raff, denied the sanctity of my family's crypt. It was hard, because the demon paralyzed me. I died, buried alive three days later."

Buffy jerked her head up. She wasn't expecting that. Annunziata gave her a knowing look.

"That is the worst thing that could happen to a person."

Annunziata turned away from her, and then Lily was there. Leading her off to yet another door. It would suck to be buried alive.

A/N: Ok, I just rewrote what happened with the black death. Anyway, it was a short chapter. Sorry. There was a couple of slight spoilers for those who haven't seen S 6 or S 7. Hope you like it! Oh, and we get to see the slayer's version of what happened with Spike (_Fool For Love)_


	7. Chapter Six: I'm Sorry I Can't Be Perfec...

A/N: Ok, how boring was my academic day? So damn boring that I got a chapter of this, and a chapter of another story finished between note taking in AH and BIO! Once again, huge thanks to Queen Boadicea, sevhevcracksmeup, lil badass, Kailie Melcher, Gisme, and Siri, who have reviewed and basically inspired me to continue, and anyone else I missed while checking the reviews! xanya-forever, yours has been the biggest push, so I'm dedicating this chapter to you, cuz your reviews have been playing over in my head and cuz they were on replay, my mind made me work it all out. By the by, I basically know nothing of the Boxer Rebellion 'cept that the Chinese workers revolted and killed white Christian missionaries (I think, once again, no real clue) So I hope y'all enjoy.

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Chapter Six: I'm Sorry I Can't Be Perfect

Buffy walked slowly into the doorway, watching Lily. Lily smiled sadly at the scene played out before them. Buffy looked around the room, curious as to where they were.

"Where are we?"

"China, 1900."

"This is the slayer that -"  
"William the Bloody killed? Aye, Sh' is. 'Er name is Guan-yin Ma."

"So I get to see her side of the story?"

"Aye. Watch."

__

Lanterns flickered off the paper walls. An older woman sat at the center of the room, her delicate looking hands wrapped around a teacup. A slender young woman was at her feet, apologizing for something. She couldn't be more than sixteen or seventeen .

"Mother, you must leave this place. It is a dangerous time for us all."

"I will not leave my home. Too many things to do, you stupid cow. Me, leave because a silly girl fears at shadows."

"Mother, violence has been breaking out all over the village! I do not wish to see you -"

"When I was waiting for your father's seed to enter me, and while I was praying to the Ancestors for a healthy child, I never dreamed that I would bear such an insolent brat."

"Mother!"

"The Ancestors must have sent me a changeling. Why could they not bless me with a daughter who obeys her mother's every command and was married to a good husband, bearing me grandsons. Or better yet, a son instead of a daughter!" The woman's fist pounded into the table as the noises from outside rose. Guan-yin tried to turn her head to the noise.

"Mother - "

"Guan-yin. Mother has not finished speaking! Mother has told you that she no longer wishes to hear your silly fears." The older woman controlled her voice. She wanted to scream at the girl.

Guan-yin controlled her own anger. Her eyes narrowed and wondered when her beloved mother had lost her mind. She kept her eyes on the floor, wondering if her mother even heard the screams ripping through the night air.

"Mother -"

"You disgrace me, child. Be gone from my sight."

Buffy could see Guan-yin's eyes clouding with tears. She remembered what it felt like, thinking your mother didn't want you around. But at least Buffy had known she had her mother's love. Guan-yin didn't see that.

__

Guan-yin brushed the tears from her eyes as she went to her room. Genji  
stood behind her, her old withered arms wrapped around her body. Tears focused in the old watcher's eyes.

"Guan-yin, it is not safe for you to go. The vampire will only succeed in killing you."

"I cannot let Angelus escape. He is the Scourge of Europe, and the Eastern Slayer will defeat him."

"He travels with the vampires Darla and Drucilla. William the Bloody is with them!"

"They are not so old. They should be easily defeated."

"But the chaos in the streets -"

"Genji, who is the slayer and who is the watcher? I will kill Angelus before the night is out."

She strapped the blade to her waist, tied back her hair and armed herself with stakes and a dagger. Genji felt her heart sink. Heng, her mother was a cruel woman, and Guan-yin was always feeling the lash of her tongue. Heng was a bitter woman. She had no love for her daughter.

Guan-yin made her way out her mother's door, out into the night. She needed this fight.

Buffy had started at the mention of the four vampires she'd become aware of in her life. Angel and Spike. This girl had died at the hands of Spike. She turned to Lily. She only signaled her to look on.

Guan-yin was running down the street, watching as fights and fires broke out through the city. A Western man was bent over a woman, who's body twitched. Her eyes narrowed as she lunged at the man. He was no ordinary man, he was a vampire.

Guan-yin's fist punched into his face, throwing the vampire into the open doorway of a Buddhist Temple.

Guan-yin let off a series of kicks, knocking him back. She pulled her sword, swinging at him. She whipped it at his head. The vampire ducked away, but the blade ripped into the skin over his left eyebrow. Blood dripped from the wound, and the Vampire merely smiled at her, pleased that he was fighting the Slayer.

Guan-yin aims at him again, but he successfully dodged it. 

"Just like I pictured it. This good for you?" He said, smiling at her.

"Only Spike would -"

"Buffy, close yer bleeding trap." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

__

Guan-yin charged him again, her blade whickering through the air in a deadly blur. The vampire dodged every swing and viciously backhanded her, knocking her blade from her hand. She decided to change her strategy.

She aimed for his head. She even landed a few of her blows. He was only enraged, his anger giving him the edge he needed to gain more ground. Guan-yin only gained it back, backing and pinning him to a support column. Her foot on his throat, she raises a stake to finish of this foul creature.

But the earth shook as an explosion blasted in part of the temple. It broke her hold on the vampire. He knocked the stake from her hand. She raced to get it, but he wrenched her arm behind her. She cried out. He dragged him to her and sank his fangs into her flesh. 

Guan-yin gasped in pain and disbelief. Her lungs felt as if they were burning and she was losing her grasp on reality. Out of the broken wall she could see her childhood home in flames. The vampire whirled her around and she spoke softly to him, delirious of what she was seeing.

"Tell my mother I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry, love, I don't speak Chinese."

Guan-yin's heart stopped beating as he threw her to the ground. Standing above her, much like the conquering hero, he licked his lips in satisfaction. 

"I died because I could hear her voice." A soft, lilting voice spoke to her. Buffy turned to face Guan-yin. The slayer looked so sad. "Her voice was playing over in my mind. I was a disgrace to her. I disgusted her in everything I did and everything I was. I disgusted her in everything I failed to be."

"Guan-yin -"

"I was distracted by her criticism, and went out there to prove a point. I was distracted by the battles I could never win. I let him win."

Tears welled in Guan-yin's eyes, and the slayer fought for composure. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Buffy wanted to put her arms around the girl. Guan-yin found her voice.

"I wanted him to tell my mother that I was sorry that I failed in being a good daughter. That I failed to be a good slayer." The tears flooded down her cheeks as the sobs wracked her body.

Suddenly, Lily was there. Her arms went around the crying girl. She comforted the slayer, her eyes hitting and holding Buffy's gaze. It was the first time two other slayers had been together in one of her visits and actually interact with each other.

Buffy watched as the girl sobbed out all of the pain that had been inflicted on her. She watched as Guan-yin faded away into Lily's arm. Lily lead her away from the image of Guan-yin's death.

"Ye can'ot always believe what a vamp'll tell ye, luv. 'E was fighten for 'is life. She jus lost de fight."

"Yeah."

"Ye ready?"

"Lead the way."

A/N2: okay, Guan-yin means The goddess of mercy in Chinese, and Genji means gold. The reason I chose that as her watcher's name, was that her watcher was the gold lining on a pretty shitty life. Her mother's name, as far as I know, doesn't mean anything. SO basically her mother was worthless. I was originally go with Nikki Wood first, but then I realized I was gonna have to delve into season seven. I will be writing Nikki's death, as well as Kendra's. SO here's the chapter, as always, tell me if I did good, okay, or sub par. (odd words, cuz it's 3am, and I've been running around like a loon all day, and I also got fired from a job I didn't even have for one day, which really sucks.) oh, the details of Spike and Guan-yin's fight I got from BuffyWorld.com. And I don't know if Joss named her, so if he did, I renamed her. As always, tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter Seven: It's More Than I Can Hand...

A/N: Okay, I was just pondering how to explain what a slayer used to fend off a nasty vamp before Jesus was born, and then crucified on a cross. (Art History had me thinking this) So, what if a Slayer was around in say Israel around 1 AD when Christ was born? I'm weird, I know. Actually, this chapter's gonna be about _two _slayers. And I know I've been kinda depressing with the last three slayers, but think about it. They were young girls who really didn't _want _to die. Buffy kinda wanted to the second time around. Oh, and I don't really know when the first slayer was created, I'm assuming that it was back in the BC eras. 

**__**

Chapter Seven: It's More Than I Can Handle

Buffy peered through the doorway. Lily slowly pushed her forward into the dusty street. Buffy glared at her as she stepped forward into the shadows.

"We're in Bethlehem." Lily said softly, crossing herself.

"Isn't that -"

"Where Gawd almighty Hisself was born? Aye. Da Lord is bout to be born dis ver' evening."

__

A young girl no more than fifteen or sixteen was lead on a donkey by a handsome man, his skin burnished brown by days in the sun. As the donkey moved forward, the young woman was shown more clearly. She was pregnant.

"Mary was a slayer?" Buffy screeched.

"Wha'? Nah, Aaliyah be 'er name. She lives 'ere in Bethlehem."

__

A dark complected girl followed in the near darkness of the dusty street. Aaliyah followed the couple as they went from inn to inn looking for a resting place. She'd been following them as they traveled through the night, protecting them from the vampire assassins that were after the pregnant woman. She quickly staked another vamp as it prepared to hurl a dagger at the back of the woman. She snatched up the intricate dagger and leapt forward to kill another vamp. The dagger entered it's flesh, and exploded.

__

"No vampire will stop me from completing my mission." She said softly, pulling herself up, she quickly raced through alleys to get to the last inn in the city. 

__

The fat man at the counter balked at seeing the lithe girl standing before him. She smiled softly and made her plea to him. Slipping a few gold drachma into his sweaty palm, she slipped back out into the night. Moments later, the man and pregnant woman entered the inn. They asked about lodgings for the night.

"Aaliyah bribed them without getting physical."

"Money was even mor' powerful bac' then." Lily said. "Watch."

__

The couple turned to follow the man as he led them to a manger. And above them, on the rooftop of the nearby building Aaliyah battled with another assassin.

"Herod will not have it's blood!" Her dagger blow was blocked as she ducked from another fist. The vampire tried to renew it's fight, and managed to knock the dagger from her hands.

The vampire grinned as she brought her foot up to his face, knocking the vamp back. Unfortunately, it knocked him toward the dagger. He clutched onto it and rammed it in his side as she lunged forward. She fell back and gasped in pain. From below, in the stable, she could hear the woman crying in pain. 

Aaliyah knew the woman who was aiding her had never had assisted in a birth before. The pained cries echoed in her ears as she grasped the dagger handle. With all her might, she ripped it from her side and put all of her weight into the punch she landed on the vamp. She landed astride him and forced the blade of the dagger across his throat. He burst into dust as she rose shakily to her feet.

The woman cried out again. Aaliyah had to help her. She had been present at many births. Including the births of her two children. She flung herself off the roof into the pile of hay. She brushed a strand of hair from her eyes as she rose.

"I'm here to help, my lady."

Buffy cringed as she watched the birth of the baby. She even closed her eyes at one point. Lily just laughed at her. 

"You nevah seen childbirth?"  
"Not of the human nature."

__

Aaliyah held the screaming child in her arms. She smiled as he cooed up at her. And then, after looking up with tears in her eyes, collapsed back into the hay.

"Wait, what happened?"

"The wound." Lily reminded her.

"Where's Aaliyah? Isn't this her cue to pop up and talk?"

"We're not done. Watch."

__

The crowds were teaming in the city as the group of men entered. Palms waved in the air. A golden haired woman watched, her veils draped over her face. Her eyes focused on the handsome bearded man before her. 

Day shifted to evening, and still she watched him. Ten offers to buy her favors came from the city guards and still she ignored them. Her eyes stayed fixed on the room in which he and his friends dined.

"Who's She?"

"Lilith."

__

Lilith followed them as he went to the hills. She hid in the shadows, watching. The man stopped on his way up the hill. He looked into the shadows and called to her.

"Come out. I can see you there."

"Teacher, it is not safe for you here. I am watching."

"You cannot change what is to be. Watch over my watchers, I fear they will need you more than I. My friend is to betray me this night."

"Then I should dispatch of him. I -" Fear came to her eyes.

"Lilith. I would not have you spill blood for my sake. That is not what I teach."

"Teacher, -"

"Go, Lilith, and spill no blood this night."

Lilith turned and left her teacher to watch over his friends. In the night the soldiers came and took him. She raced to his aide, but he called out that no blood was to be spilled. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

They crucified him the next day. She mourned in the shadows. As the darkness descended, she watched over the bearers of his body. And from the shadows, the unclean beasts came to scavenge for blood.

She battled against them dusting one after the other. But there were too many. She hurled one over her shoulder toward her teacher's cross and watched as his body burst into flame.

But she did not see the spear that pierced her body from behind. She collapsed to her knees as the image of her teacher's cross was the last image she saw.

"His will be done."

Buffy turned to face Lily to see Lilith and Aaliyah in her place. Aaliyah smiled at her, and Lilith bowed her head.

"Hello, Buffy." Aaliyah said softly.

"Hi."

"You're expecting us to tell you how we failed?" Aaliyah asked.

"Kinda, that's what everyone else did."

"I did not fail. I did what I was born to do. The child needed to be protected, and I died helping to bring him into this world, so he could fulfill his mission."

"And you?" Buffy asked Lilith.

"I could not save him, it is true. But because of me, his bearers were protected. I have no regrets from my life." She said softly.

"Sometimes, you don't have anything to regret." Aaliyah said.

The next thing she knew, Buffy was back on the plain, following Lily to another door.

A/N 2: Aaliyah means high exalted, to ascend, while Lilith means dark, a woman of the night.


	9. Chapter Eight: This Is The Price That Mu...

A/N: Ok, now Cyn, Aaliyah, and Lillith really didn't have any regrets for doing what they had to do. Now for a personal note on the subject matter. It really is hard to write about slayers. That means I have to think up new and interesting things for OC's to die about. So if Buffy seems out of character, sorry, but I'm focusing on new dead slayers (still sounds weird). This chapter, like the last will either be about two or three slayers. Now, for major spoilers.

We're getting into major S 7 spoilers here, folks. Which means, I'm writing about Nikki Wood. So, no spoil? Then don't read. Although, I think nearly everyone already knows the story.

**__**

Chapter Eight: This Is The Price That Must Be Paid

Buffy was completely perplexed. They didn't regret it. They did what they had to do to save people, especially when the odds were stacked against them. Lily just stood there, waiting for her like she always seemed to be. The door this time was smaller - not as old fashioned as the others had seemed to be.

"Ready, then?" Lily said softly.

"Its -" She paused in front of the door, her hand just above the handle.

"Are they all either the grieving or the fulfilled?" Lily finished.

"Yeah, I guess."

"Some, like Cyn - are happy to be at peace, but they still grieve for what they have been denied. We are none of us, old women, Buffy." Lily sighed. "We were robbed of a normal life. Some of us had the time to come to grips with it, but many of us did not."

Lily simply gave a sad smile, her eyes locked on the door knob. It made sense, in a way. She'd done the same thing to make sure Dawn had a chance. She hadn't been like that in the beginning, but then she'd had more time than most slayers. Twisting the knob, she made her way over the threshold.

At first, Buffy wasn't quite sure where she was. She could hear the ocean, smell it. But it was different than she remembered.

"It's not your ocean." Lily pointed to a woman, maybe a year or two older than Buffy.

__

Sunlight played over the woman's caramel colored skin, and her hand rested on her very pregnant belly. She wore a loosely wrapped floral dress around her. Her dark hair rustled past her face. Then her daggers came out. One flew into the nearby head of a blubbery looking demon. The other went to the throat of the man who summoned it. He knelt before her, cowering in fear. Her hand had returned to where her child presumably slept.

"Her name is Iolana. She carries her and her watcher's child." Lily said softly.

"Ew." Buffy went to the scary visual place.

"He didn't look like or act like your watcher. He was her best friend. Her first watcher was killed two days after she was chosen. She gave him all of her books, so that he could take over until the council could send another watcher." Lily sighed. "Kale was his name."

__

Iolana stared down into his eyes, sadness as she looked at the man she'd loved. Tears seemed to be in his eyes as well, pleading with her as her dagger hand stayed steadily aimed at his throat.

"How could you?" She hissed, her eyes narrowing in anger. "You -"

"Please, Iolana! I am your - I never meant it!" He pleaded.

"You have betrayed your blood, Kale." She hissed, but he wasn't watching her face. He lunged forward, twisting her wrist back and aiming the blade at her belly.

"You always were so gullible, Iolana. You were never the sacrifice -" His vacant expression broke into a sadistic grin as he plunged the blade into her.

She gasped in pain, as blood formed around the blade's handle. Iolana grasped the handle, digging her nails into his flesh. Tearing the blade from her belly, she slammed it into the side of his head. She fell to her knees, blood trickling between her fingers. The wound was deep and mortal.

"Slayer?" A voice called, pulling her from the trance she'd fallen into. "Iolana? Oh, God." A dark haired British woman rushed to her side

"The baby . . ."

"We need to get you medical help."

"Too late for that, take the knife, free the baby."

"No."

"I'm getting colder. Take it to safety." Iolana began to shake.

The other woman quickly worked to free the child, tears and sweat pouring down her face as Iolana became paler by the second. When a weak wail pierced the air, Iolana's breathing was more erratic.

"It's a girl, Iolana. What shall I call her?"

"Noelani. Name her that, Lodema." She moved no more, and Lodema rose with the small child wrapped in the rags of her mother's torn dress.

"The babe was lucky. The blade only nicked her shoulder, and she was stuck with that scar for life." Iolana said softly, coming to stand beside Buffy. "But better a scar than no life at all."

"But she lived."

"Yes. She grew, under the watch of Lodema." Iolana sighed heavily, "Sometimes, lovers change on us. Kale did. But then I don't really need to tell you about that. You already know that."

"Yeah, I guess I do." Buffy remembered Angelus, and remembered how he got that way.

"I stopped the sacrifice." Buffy was jogged out of her own memories by Iolana's voice.

"Didn't -"

"I sacrifice myself? I suppose. Kale was supposed to shed the blood of an unborn child, but she turned as his blade went in. Had Lodema not taken the child from me, a powerful chaos demon would have been released."

"Oh."

"These are the small sacrifices we make for our children. A slayer never learns from her predecessors mistakes. We're not allowed to read the diaries. Our children learn, and there are more of them out there than the Council knows of." Iolana stood on the cliff, her hair blowing in the breeze. "They learn through our examples. Noelani is an old woman now, a mother and wife. The things I could not be for her, save for my parting gift."

"Her life."

Buffy found herself back out in the green rolling hills of her heaven. Lily wasn't beside her, however. Iolana was.

"Lily never experienced this, so she cannot show you. She should not even have showed you my life."

"Whose life is this?" Buffy asked as she slid through the doorway into a darkened alleyway.

"Nikki Wood. She was different than me. She had her son at seventeen, and became a slayer at nineteen. She died when he was four."

"So she lived for three years."

__

Rain poured down as a tall, lithe black woman fought off a bleached blonde vampire. Her kick sent him tumbling into the ground, but he wasn't down for long.

"Spike." Buffy murmured.

__

"Well, all right. Got the moves, don't you? I'm gonna ride you hard before I put you away, luv." His blood was pumping, figuratively speaking.

"You sure about that? You actually look a little wet and limp to me. And I ain't your "luv."" Nikki tossed back, as her foot flung out to restart the fight.

There was movement at the bench near Buffy. A little boy peeked through the slats of the bench, watching the fight. Spike overpowered the slayer, pushing her to the ground and straddling her, his fists pounding into her face. Nikki grabbed his arm and sent him flying off of her as her son watched. Her punch connected with Spike, but he grabbed in and twisted around to get an opening at her neck.

Fear washed over the little boy, who rose suddenly, knocking over the trash can beside him, startling Spike. This gave Nikki an opening, and she flung her head back into his face, freeing herself from Spike. With a series of elbow blows and punches, she managed to knock him to the ground. She yanked out a stake and threw it at his heart, but he caught it before it could pierce his heart. He grinned.

"_I spent a long time trying to track you down. Don't want the dance to end so soon, do you, Nikki? The music's just starting, isn't it?" He tossed the stake back at her, and it hit the pavement. He started to walk away, but turned and latched onto a lamp post. He swung around to face her. "By the way...love the coat." He walked away._

"Leave it to Spike to come up with a lame line like that."

**__**

"Mamma!" The little boy called to Nikki, who went to him, squatting down to face her son.  
"You did a good job, baby boy. You stayed down just like mamma told you."

"Can we go home now?"

"Uh-uh. It's not safe there anymore. How 'bout I leave you over at Crowley's house, and you can play with those spooky doodads that you like."

"No, I wanna stay with you."

Nikki spared a glance over her shoulder before facing her son again. "Yeah, I know you do, baby. But remember, Robin, honey what we talked about. Always got to work the mission." Robin looked down, clearly upset. "Look at me. You know I love you, but I got a job to do. The mission is what matters...right?" He nodded. "That's my boy. Come on."

Nikki rose, her son's hand in hers. As they started to walk away, Robin turned around and suddenly ran back to grab his mother's stake.

_"Robin?"_

__

The street transformed suddenly, and Buffy was on the subway. Spike and Nikki were dueling it out, much like he had shown her in the alley behind the Bronze. Spike's head went through the glass, and he let out an ecstatic cry. He wrenched a metal handrail from the subway car and wielded it like he had the pool stick. He sent her to the floor of the car, pounding the handrail into her. As Spike brought the rail down for another blow Nikki caught it and slammed it back into his face. Spike fell to the floor and Nikki was on him in a second, straddling his chest. She pounded him repeatedly in the face as the car's lights flickered out. When they came back on, Nikki was on her back with Spike straddling her, his hands wrapped tightly around her throat. Nikki struggled beneath Spike, but it was no good. He gripped Nikki's head between his hands and twisted violently, snapping her neck. Her body ceased fighting, and her eyes went lifeless.

He walked to the end of the car and yanked on the emergency cord. As the train grounded to a halt, he returned to the dead Slayer and strips her of her black leather duster.

In an uptown apartment, Little Robin cried his eyes out as the policeman told Crowley that his mother was dead.

"Maybe I should have stayed with my boy. But I couldn't give Spike the satisfaction of giving up."

"You left your son to go kill a vampire." Buffy said stiffly, her arms wrapping around her as she remembered the little boy's tears. Nikki's spine stiffed.

"I didn't plan on him killing me."

"But he did."

"Yeah, and my son learned that you have to put the mission first. He got a strong work ethic."

"Doesn't replace the mother he lost."

"No. But I played by the rules life dealt me." Nikki walked away from her, leaving her in the green grass.

"Nikki doesn't think she did anything wrong. But she taught her son that he came second all the time." Buffy said to Iolana.

"It helped her work through. She was a child. I don't think she really knew how to balance both." Iolana led her to another door. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah." But Buffy couldn't help thinking that there was something wrong with Nikki's attitude.

A/N 2: Cutting it short there. More mother slayers and Iolana in the next chapter.

The Meanings:

Hawaiian

__

Kale strong and manly

__

Iolana to soar like an eagle

__

Noelani A beautiful girl from heaven

Old English

__

Lodema A guide or leader

Nikki - The people's victory. From the name Nicole.  
Robin - A small bird. A boy or girl's name


End file.
